Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Unrecognizeable

"many were apalled at thee - so marred was his visage unlike that of a man" -Isaiah

Is he not who you think he is? What is his physical description? The presumption of his appearance? "Marred" is the word of the prophet. The desert is full of damaged goods. It has become a place to collect trash. The stuff left behind for better things. Left to rust, fade away and become a part of the landscape. You'd be amazed what you can find out here. Or for that matter who is out here. Have you forgotten already? God is in the desert.

Oh, I know you saw Jesus in town. The Walmart Jesus; convenient, expendable, one size fits all and on sale at that. Or was it the uptown Jesus? Available to only a select few. A limited number of models, specially designed to your preferences. The marred Jesus was abandoned long ago. He has become unrecognizeable to those who claim to bear his name. But he did say that in the last days there would be many "christs."

He leaves tracks in the desert, footprints in the sand with flecks of blood (and I saw a lamb as if slain-St. John). They are there that we might follow. If you dare. They go deeper into the desert, uncharted territories, boundless. And some say; 'there in the desert, is a lion that haunts the night.' At times it appears as if his and those of Jesus have become one. Sola Fide, WHB

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Fire!

Mt. Sinai was wrapped in smoke because the Lord had descended on it in fire. -Moses

Once upon a time my house caught on fire. I was young then but as I recall the fire depatment came twice that morning. You see, fire has a life of its own. Just about the time you think you have mastered the flame, it burns you.

God is fire, never forget that. Moses knew this mind you. He of all people is familiar with burning bushes. But this is different. This fire on the mountain. So, God is not only fire but he is an untamable fire. Here in the desert we appreciate campfires. They provide warmth, a sense of security. Staring into it you encounter a spirit of comfort. But never presume that you are the keeper of the flame. For he is the keeper and our creator. One does not play with fire, or it will burn you. Yes, God is an untamable fire so don't play with him.

There is something volcanic about God. I know, not the image you had in mind. You say, "Give me Jesus." The Jesus of our imagination, long hair, blue eyes, always smiling. My very best friend. Not that I reject or deny this image of Jesus or suggest that it is in no way plausable. It is simply not the full image of God. There is a dark side to the cross, "if we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a fearful expectation of judgment and a fury of fire that will consume the adversaries......how much worse punishement....will be deserved by the one who has spurned the Son of God, and profaned the blood of the covenant" (Hebrews 10). We do not want to see the image of a spurned Savior. He suddenly turns volcanic, dangerous and unpredictable. This is not the kind of God one peddles. This is a Savior to be proclaimed, "the voice of one crying in the wilderness."

Don't get too comfortable in the desert. Not that it will betray you or turn on you. Rather it is not something to be taken for granted. Carelessness will get you killed out here. For God is a consuming fire. His fear must be before us that we might not sin against him (Exodus 20).

So, back to the volcano which God is. "Broad is the way that leads to destruction but narrow is the road that leads to eternal life." Live on that broad way and you may find yourself camping at the base of a volcano. The thing about volcano's is that they are so unpredictable. The volcano may be dormant for years, perhaps the longsuffering of God and then he blows. So much for life as one knows it. Pompei is suddenly your life. This is not something you wish on your worst enemy. Even Abraham asked God not to torch Sodom and Gomorrah. The desert is the place where you learn to worship God, observe this fire on the mountain. Just maybe he'll call up and you will enter in. Sola Fide, WHB

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

It's In The Room

"This fire is God, and his furnace is in Jerusalem; and Christ enkindles it in the heat of his burning passion, which only he truly perceives who says: My soul chooses hanging and my bones death. Whoever loves death can see God because it is true beyond doubt that man will not see him and live. Let us, then, die and enter into this darkness; let us impose silence upon our cares, and our desires and our imaginings." -St. Bonaventure

There is a darkness of which poets dream and mystics write. A conundrum in its own right, hard to be known. For not all darkness is without light or more appropriately spoken opposite of light. We know that "men loved darkness rather than light, for their deeds were evil." But not all darkness is of evil's delight. Perhaps the mystics were drawn to the darkness seen in Exodus 20? "Moses drew near to the thick darkness where God was." For them was this the place of unknowing? A place where God could be fully known (within human comprehension) and yet remain unseen, for no man can see God and live. Yet the darkness is dangerous of which Jeremiah writes. He laments over God's darkness falling over Jerusalem, wrapped in anger and rage. It became a wound that would not heal........ There is a darkness in which there is no delight.

It's in the room.
It's so cold, I can feel some kind of cool wind blow,
When my eyes are closed I can feel some kind of eerie cold.
Late at night I looked twice, thought I saw someone staring over my shoulder.
It's in the room, I can feel it in the room,
Something dead and gone but still somehow it's hanging on.

In all of my desert wanderings I have yet to encounter the thick darkness where God is. Perhaps in the distance I have percieved it once or twice. Or was it simply a rare seasonal storm cloud that appears before the rain? No, the darkness primarily encountered on these desert paths is that which men begin to love and in the end hate for its haunting. There is a cruelness to it that does not let go. For it has no consience and delights in consuming wayward souls. If you listen you can hear them screaming into the night having become prisoners of their own device.

Is that at least in part why some sought this "place of unknowing?" It had to be something more than one's personal well-being that was in mind. This darkness that one might enter is not a means of escape but rather certitude. It is a place of strength and being. It does not promise clarity but it assures one of peace. The longer one scours these paths the more we realize clarity is a facade. For we are here and here is the only place we can be. But he is before and after; ever-present, ever-past, ever-future. There is no place or time where he is not. This is clarity. A clarity of which we will never know, not even in the resurrection. For even in the resurrection we will only and always be there (wherever there is). The desert wanderer settles for peace. Though he must not pursue peace or it will elude him. Pursue the Prince of Peace and if you permit him he will become your peace. For the world is full of many darkness's. For men loved darkness rather than light. And at times you will find that it is the darkness of cruel delight that rests upon your own shoulder. In this desert we wander but we must not become wayward. We may have to live with darkness but we do not have to live in it. It may be in the room but it is not Lord of the house.

Whoever turns his face fully to the Mercy Seat
and with faith, hope and love,
devotion, admiration, exultation,
appreciation, praise and joy
beholds him hanging upon the cross,
such a one makes the Pasch, that is, the Passover,
with Christ.
By the staff of the cross
he passes over the Red Sea,
going from Egypt into the desert,
where he will taste the hidden manna;
and with Christ
he rests in the tomb,
as if dead to the outer world,
but experiencing,
as far as is possible in this wayfarer's state,
what was said on the cross
to the thief who adhered to Chrst;
Today you shall be with me in Paradise -St. Bonaventure

Sola Gracia, WHB